inside Rhodes

Here I am, making my last adjustments to the already brimming suitcase my mother has allocated to me (the other one American Airlines allows me has been filled with gifts for relatives back home), and I get the bright idea to blog about the gazillions of concerns scampering through my head.

Will they like me back home (in Shanghai, my birthplace)? Will real, bonafide Chinese people see through my Asian exterior and find my inner person much too American for their tastes? And most importantly, will the government see fit to quarantine me given the recent swine flu scare?

I found this tactic the Chinese government has of detaining not only people who register a fever attempting to enter their country but also that entire plane most laughable. Then, about last Wednesday, I caught some sort of virus. I ran a 101.4* fever and – most terrifyingly – skipped two meals. Yeah, it was bad. My mom, being overly worried and motherly, took me to the doctor the next morning only to find out that I just had a normal flu. I’ve been on exorbitant quantities of antibiotics and herbal supplements since.

The suffering caused by the sickness pales in comparison to the barrage of emotional distress that has plagued me all week, though. My parents, at the slightest hint of a cough, will immediately caution me to mask my infirmity, hinting that not only will I be responsible for the detainment of my family and myself, the entire plane will be finger-wagging at me as we’re sequestered in a window-less, miserable, stuffy room for a week. As if there were monitors for the Chinese government lurking around the couch as catch the latest “So You Think You Can Dance.” When I respond sarcastically, citing illogical reasons for wanting to get sick or pointing out that I’m getting all my hacking out of the way before I face the inquisitors, the parentals bewail their fate, asking God why they were cursed with such a shameful daughter.

If any of you have read any Amy Tan, you’ll know what I mean when I say I swear I’ve been thrown into one of her novels. It seems as we move closer and closer to departure, my parents grow more and more culture conscious, practically morphing into caricatures of traditional Asian parents. If I hear any mention of dishonoring ancestors, I will throw a fit.

On a brighter note, I don’t have H1N1, so I will (hopefully) be in a whole ‘nother country! Hence, I can entertain y’all with vivid pictures and colorful stories of the booming Shanghai and Beijing (there will be a little traveling involved). Looks like alotta people are abroad this summer. Check out Chelsea’s blog to hear about her adventures in France!

Till I can find an Internet cafe, zai jian!